Possibly the only thing harder than having a bi-polar boyfriend is having a bi-polar ex-boyfriend.

I wish this on no person. It is my deepest hope that in no point in time, will any of you, or anyone you love, and even those you hate, ever have to say any form of the phrase "_________ attempted suicide today."

Please, positive thoughts/energy in any form, prayer, karma, vibes, would be most welcome. Names don't need to be said, the powers that be (whatever they may be) will know.

I don't know that I have ever felt so played.
I used to think that my generally optimistic outlook on life was something to be proud of. Especially because I thought that I was able to do so while keeping a grasp of reality. I Hate it. I'm just naive and dumb.

I was so fooled. So so fooled. I am a fool. I feel so many emotions that I don't want to feel because they're not healthy and they do me no good....eg anger, jealousy, a maliciousness that reminds me of my mother and scares me. So much I would like to just pretend that it's okay, but I don't know that I'll be able to. For the second time in my life.... I've put a great deal of trust in someone that I loved (yes, love, the double edged sword of it all, makes it all the better for a classic drama) and have had that completely shattered. At one point in time I thought I was through that. I thought I wasn't going to let people into my life who could do that to me. How silly was I?

I don't even know where to begin to try to make it work. Logistically I don't see how it can. Too many founding building blocks have crumbled and in turn have brought down cascades of tiny things that no one even knew mattered. Stupid girl.

Ouch.

k. I want to go back to being happily single now please. Nope. Done with dating. Done with flirting with purpose. I'd like to be obliviously flirting with someone and not have to worry about reprecussions or the like. So many awkward datey things. blegh. how many this week you ask me?....ummm 5....as of tomorrow I'll be adding a sixth.
Blegh. it takes energy and also I just don't think I'm looking for anyone to fill that category...I didn't even like kissing the most recent one (the only one I've kissed...not THAT big of a ho-bag). NO MORE. DRAMA. PLEASE. Blegh. Okay...so I don't have the engery to explain more...I'm mainly online waiting for my nails to dry before I go to bed. Vomit. Friggin formals. Friggin dating. Can I just go back?

This is kinda rough. Can't sleep. I would have been fine today. I'm actually pretty okay at keeping my caffeine intake at work to acceptable levels...but then someone didn't get their drink.....they didn't get their quad shot twelve ounce two pump hazelnut soy latte. Why did they order my drink...have me make it...and then not get it? Someone is out to get me.

I'm restless. Not just now with the buzz, but with my life. I want to do more with it. I want more direction. Here's the hard part though, I think that I'm past the stage where anyone else can give or tell me the direction to take....even if someone would I don't believe it would be valid in my eyes or that I would even follow it. I'm worried that I have to decide it for myself. That is so so scary for me. What if I mess up? I'm used to being able to allow the blame to fall back on someone else...not that I have let it...I've usually just taken responsibility, but that was because I had the option.

I'm 20. I have been for over 2 months. That is scary. I know it doesn't seem much, but really. 2 decades. MORE than 2 decades...and I've done nothing actually worthwhile. I can see very little I can do that would ever be considered worthwhile.

I wish I could be like all the other insomniacs and just watch TV and buy workout equipment for 20 bucks. Nope. Alas.

Reading has completely ruined my life! I've finally figured it out. By the the sixth or fourth grade I had read Jane Eyre, Sense and Sensibility, and Pride and Prejudice.

I am 100% convinced that I need a Mr.Darcy in my life. Every so often I like to pretend that I like the century I live in...but it's a lie. I would rather live in those times...I realized this when given the option between Bridget Jones' Diary and the TBS's production of Emma...I chose the classic. Tear.

Now I basically just want to run an add in a paper that goes along these lines:

"An Elizabeth Bennett seeks one Mr. Darcy to roam Derbyshire (and/or Seattle). Bingleys and Wickhams need not apply."

K...so I probably wouldn't do that in all seriousness, but it'd be fun to see if I got any responses. Yeah. Basically I'm a little bit too bored/ lonely for my own good at the moment.

Here are the rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate!
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

Questions asked of me by Elliot:

1-We're obnoxious. Like, hella. Why do people like us?
2-Favorite word in any language?
3-Most delicious thing in the world?
4-Why does your cat like to put his face on the stove burner?
5-What's the most money you would spend on something for yourself?

Answers:

1) Well Elliot. Yes, we are totally obnoxious, however, we make fun of ourselves and in the fact that we already know we're obnoxious, people feel free to laugh at/with us because they don't have to feel awkward about hating us because we're so totally annoying...AND they all secretly wish they could be us. Basically we're entertaining and a novelty, because most siblings aren't as crazy as we are. One's usually 'normal'. Not in our case. Also, our blatent obnoxiousness allows us to have fun where ever we go, adding an aspect of novelty to our shannagins that almost everyone enjoys (except mom)

2) Well, pineapple yogurt in french is anana yaourt (ya-oot) which is just straight up fun to say.... we will work in spanish is trabajabamos, again, a kick in the pants.....and I'm not sure what my favorite in english is...it changes. Used to be guffaw, and then 'crisp'...there are a lot of words

3) Most delicious thing? sooo many. Spicy tuna roll? lamb? toasted marshmallow wrapped in american cheese (don't knock it until you try it)....I think my vote may be on Jordan Almonds. I don't know why, but they just rock my world. That and sweet potatos...or any of thanksgiving dinner (minus the turkey)...plus yorkshire pudding.

4) My cat is just a big ol' bowl of retarded. Obviously.

5) Clarifying question...when we're talking about money I'd spend on myself does that include say....rent? Because if so, then buttloads. At LEAST 445 a month. VOMIT. But in all reality, probably $200. I recently spent about $180 on ballet tickets, and I spend that much on dance classes....It really depends on what it's for. Yipes

Dear HotWire,
I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH. Along with StudentUniverse.com. You two sites are the most fantastic websites for travelling. Hey...a round trip ticket to florida? less than a month in advance? Oh hey...before I knew about you those tickets were about $600. Suck. Oh but now.....found a flight (doesn't work with my times...but its' still there, for $197) JAW DROPS. LOVE. You make flying lots easier. I highly recommend that everyone look at these sites before booking travel. Heart!
Much love,
Hillary

Dear house+1 roommate,
I HATE YOU BOTH! REALLY? god. both are so annoying and just sucky and make me want to move. both are smelly and pretending to be things that they aren't. Both make me sick. AHHHHH SMARMY FRICK. sooo antsy. i may just explode. I need out of this frickin house! I may go to Bellingham this weekend just to get away from you both! RAGE. I honestly wish that I could just leave both of you forever!
Go fuck off,
Hillary

Dear Law & Order,
You are a fickle fickle friend. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy your programme immensely, but it seems to me that whenever I really really need to go to bed and get some sleep, you'll 'magically' have a fantastic marathon that I can't take my eyes off of. God. I need Spring Break so badly, but I may not actually get to leave my house...which may in fact kill me. WAH!
What do do with you?
Hillary

Fuckin' V-day. Virgin day. Verylameassday. Boo. Actually I'm pretty fine, it's always been a kinda iffy holiday seeing as my mother's birthday...and it doesn't really count as one. but still...awkward. Meh. So i'd like to quickly recap my past few valentines days...Go!

2007: So far I've been called by a) my ex-boyfriend...who doesn't celebrate such holidays....so basically that's a boo. b) creepy guy from target backroom who has been calling and texting me and has yet to figure out that I'm REALLY not interested despite the fact that each text gets the response "all your base are us" only and that whenever he calls I either don't pick up, or if I do pick up, sing spice girls with whichever friend is nearest and then give them the phone to talk to him in some sort of accent and hang up. Also, am still being ignored by guy that I've kinda been seeing. Not so much fun. I get it though...he doesn't want to be pressured into having a V-day, or having the DTR (Defining the Relationship Talk). But I don't either. So it just means he's being silly and doesn't even know it. BLEGH.

2006: Had a boyfriend of 2 days...he already had plans with a good friend of his who didn't have a sig. other, so I was sparred the awkwardness of V-day date, or so I thought, he friggin surprised me and took me out to strangely silent dinner. But I did get to help my roommate get all sexified for her boyfriend and then got locked out of my room for the night. woo

2005: Not much happened, wrote on the boy's car...then later got into a fight with the boy....not ideal, but it was okay

2004: this is a good one....went to sunday brunch with the fam, got back and discovered a gift from Neb of a handmade vase, flowers, cheesecake, and cookies. Happy camper. Then, about an hour later...broke up with current boyfriendish thing...over the phone (yes I know...I'm a horrible person and am going to hell, i didn't know he had baked me a cake...but it wasn't working anyway) and then took father to hospital because the cookies that Neb made had peanut butter in them, we didn't know this and he also didn't know that the father was allergic to peanuts. Woo hoo.

K. that's a good enough trip down memory lane. It works out. I don't hate this holiday, I just think it's silly. I can only pretend to be satisfied by my romance novel so much. :) tee hee. Oh well.

Side note: I think everyone should now refer to my fantastical brother as Man-princess and/or M.P. for short. That's all.

So...those of you who read my brother's LJ know so far that my family is snowed in in Denver and won't be leaving until the 26th. I ....fortunatly? had a flight at the butt crack of the morning and left denver at 6 and was one of the only flights to leave. So I am in Seattle. My original plan was to go home after I got off of work at 3:30pm on Christmas eve, and have christmas with my family and be back in Seattle to go to work by 3:15 on the 26th. I personally was really bummed out by this and thought this plan sucked.

However, now that I have no family to be with on Christmas I realize how much more my current predicament sucks. So yeah. I would ideally love to go to Spokane and have Christmas with one of my friend's families, but I have no way to do so and it's just not realistic. I may end up going to Edmonds with my friend from Oregon, or going to Sequim to spend it with friends of the family, but neither sounds fun at all. I would almost just rather hang out by myself and go out to dinner or something. This sucks lots.

It makes me sad. Oh well. Off to work.

Lets pretend we don't exist....Lets pretend we're in Antartica!

Real life is far less fun than dreamworld (read as Eugene)...I have lots of stuff that needs to be done but I'm just too tired. Blegh. I'm actually really just looking forward to Thanksgiving now. Friends, family, home, FOOD....not so much the Turkey Trot....fuckin running, but since it's part of Thanksgiving I'll do it. Alas. ***Hey Elliot, want to color in the Turkey outline again...it'll be way better this year I promise....we're SSSSSOOOOOO good at crafts!***

K. Going to work. I guess this post is just me missing UO and the people there but not wanting to complain about it actually to them. I LOVE YOU ALL.

I also love you even if you're not from UO...and even more so because you knew me before them. Emo mono angst! ahhh

nap.

K. I'm stressed and all tired and shit...but I love my boy. He doesn't even read my LJ, but I don't like that I badmouthed him even a little bit. He's my fave, and so fantastic to me. We're good for eachother. I really like that, and I'm soooo excited to see him. I think I'm just sick of being sick and am worried about how my sickiness will affect my trip and who I get to see and visit and I really don't want it to because I love all of my friends in Eugene and it's still a home to me and I'm a lonely sadface (but less so than before). K...that was all.

Know what's just downright mean? Giving a life long insomniac mono. That's just rude. I'm tired all the time. I never want to eat...and yet....I still get up go to class...try to get everything done so I could if possible go to bed by six....and what happens? I'm stuck awake and unable to sleep, but still tired as all heck at 2 in the morning. God....this one isn't that funny. I'm completely convinced that I'm never going to get better, and will continue to fall behind in schoolwork, schedule meetings outside class with teachers once I think I'm getting better, arrange for make-up work to be done...and then become more ill than ever and continue the vicious cycle. FUCK OFF MONO.

In other news, despite my illness, I'm heading down to Eugene tomorrow (today). That's exciting. Except...for the problem that mostly all my friends currently are done with midterms and just would like to go out party and relax. Alas...should Hillary "party" her liver and spleen may very well explode...and also, Hillary gets headaches currently if she tries to stay active past 8 in the evening. Boo. And also boo to the 3 dumb boys who when I went down to Eugene earlier this year decided they loved me for reasons beyond my comprehension. 1 boy, who I lusted after all year has a gf now...and that's good, except I'm slightly jealous and he doesn't really talk to me much, but he and I were friends when he had a girlfriend before and I lusted after him but things were cool, so I hope I'll be able to talk to him because he is my fave. 1 boy just smokes pot now and isn't really all that cool, but calls me on nights to tell me that in his induced state of mind, all that makes sense to him is that he and I should get married. And he's kinda serious...and gets mad at me if I don't talk to him online...when he and I have nothing, and never had anything physical, just a pretty basic preliminary friendship sort of deal. And then there's boy. We shall call him boyfriend...because that's what he is. I wish I could just date someone in the same state as me and be happy. But so far my fate has been otherwise directed twice. It scares me a lot. And I like him a lot, but I want to see other friends too while I visit, and he gets kinda over protective (partially due to my own fault of communicating to other boys/girls/people/things completely and 100% in a flirtatious manner) alas. And I just want things to be like they were in the dorms...but they won't be. And I have no friends here....aside from the given 6 that I knew were here when I came and my 1 friend I have made.

I'm stressed and tired. And just want to go to bed. I don't have a job. Am not currently in the position to get one, seeing as I'm completely exhausted after being awake for 6 consistent hours in a day. I need one. I just really would like to go home and have my mom cook for me and have my friends, and my cat cudddle me, and hang out with my brother and be silly and watch scary childhood movies that weren't supposed to be scary but scarred us nonetheless. WAAAA.

BLEGH. I want to be 15 or something like that again. Or be married. Just not where I am right now. This is hard.

K. Hillary is very busy this week. Like. Lots. Mainly she's busy so she won't have to do anything this weekend when lover visits, but so I'm busy nonetheless. I haven't been sleeping much for the past few days...that's less than the normal scarce amounts of sleep I get. So I'm very tired. I wake up this morning...my alarm clock didn't want to go off, so I"m running late. I organize myself and present a project for my 8 am class, go to french and make it through classes with the unexplained urge to cry (just cause I'm tired) and come home around 10:40.

I am torn between the need to sleep and the need to eat. I choose to eat. (that was the wrong choice). I like hash browns. I think I'll make them. I turn on the stove, put the pan on it...with some oil so they'll be nice and crispy and delicious. I go to my room, to check email while i wait for it to heat up...it's been MAYBE 2 minutes. I smell smoke. Shit. I dismantle the nearest fire alarm, because they go off if our toast is too crispy, and go into the kitchen. The kitchen is smokey and gross and oh hark...there's my pan and oil...smoking it up and being gross and bitchy making my day all the better. I'm just cursing to myself cause it sucks and turn off the stove....look at the bitchy smoking oil and say "fuck it. You smell. You're not on fire...I'm just going to wash you out in the sink". (you're not supposed to put water on grease fires because all it does is spread it out and make it HUGE). So I take the pan over to the sink turn the water on, and put the pan underneath the running water.

About ten kajillionths of a millisecond before the pan reaches the water....the oil...which has been smoking and sloshing in the pan as i walk to the sink...decides that it's been moved enough and exposed to enough air that it can and would like to catch on fire. So it does. And so at that second that it does, I have put running water in it.....
....
....
KAFOOSH

Yeah. I had a kitchen flambe. The fire exploded from the pan, climbed up our kitchen cabinets, proceded to engulf half of the ceiling ....and then went out. I don't even know why, but I'm so thankful.

So yeah. So now I'm airing out the house all the windows are open and fans are on...scrubbing the kitchen cabinets and the ceiling to get the scorch marks off (not happening) and stressing out...because now added to my list I get to buy sandpaper and paint and repaint said cabinets and ceiling within the next two days because our land lady is coming over to talk with us about the fact that three days ago our house decided to convert itself into a pool and the repairmen have come twice and done nothing. I'm broke. Stressed, and this is just another thing on my list that stresses me out and impeades the work that i need to get done so I can enjoy my fantastic boy coming over without needing to write a paper or do 60 pages of french workbook.

For some reason I am still calm and not yet crying....have yet to break down to that...it's magic. I don't even know why. But...I'm figuring all this out...money, time, and liklihood of getting everything done...and figuring out that I'm going to need to put sleep higher up as a priority to get any of this done....my housemate is so kind enough to inform me that he's shared my near death experience with his colleagues and they think it's funny. i'm not pleased by this, but whatever...I'm sure I would think it's cooler and more fascinating if it weren't ocming from my budget or my stressed and maxed out time schedule....but then informs me that it's okay because.."at least you look pretty today".

When someone has nearly died, but it still calm and being responsible, and you know they're stressed out...don't tell them that they look pretty. It helps nothing and they will be filled with a dire need to punch you. It's doesn't serve any purpose, and right now that's all I have time for. YARGH. I'm a mix of rage/humor/sorrow/exhaustion right now....so I needed to at least vent a little bit so I can function and get stuff done. Oh my god. This is hard.

Sorry. I secretly heart surveys.

TIME STARTED:	10:55 PM Pacific Time
FULL NAME:	Hillary Danielle Eaton
BIRTHDAY:	February 6, 1987
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?:	birds REALLY creep me out
YOU WEAR CONTACTS OR GLASSES?:	glasses.....not often...I live a blurry life
YOUR PERFECT MAN/WOMAN:	tolerant, joyfull, exciting, responsible, and kind
MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT:	oh god....sooo many that could be embarrassing...I've laughed them all off though, so ask someone else
YOUR FUTURE KIDS' NAMES:	Turgur/Hubert/Gerald/Ellipsis
SIBLINGS:	1 little bro. He's my fave
YOU EVER HATED ANY PERSON IN YOUR FAMILY?	why is this question on here?
...........................FAVOURITE...........................................
DINNER:	baked sole, greek salad, water and coffee
VEGETABLE:	Acorn Squash
FASTFOOD:	makes me sick
MEAT:	Lamb is pretty much the only meat I eat or like. I think it's cause it's the cutest.(fish is sooooo not meat)
CANDY:	JuJu Bees or Look Bars
BEVERAGE:	my coffee martini
MOVIE:	O' Brother Where Art Thou?
PLACE TO VISIT:	Memory Lane
JEWELLERY:	*totally not spelled correctly* I like earings
SPORT:	Curling
NUMBER:	27
ANIMAL:	flamingo (k...so all but 1 bird freak me out) or Otter
BRAND OF SHOES:	Russian pointe (you don't get it. It's okay)
PERFUME/COLOGNE:	Euphoria
SUBJECT:	Anthropology and English
..........................HAVE YOU............................................
LOVED SOMEBODY SO MUCH IT MADE YOU CRY?	YES
RAN AWAY FROM HOME?:	eh...
BROKEN A BONE?	so many times
SKINNY-DIPPED?:	yes
PLAYED STRIP POKER?:	yes. I've both won and lost
PLAYED TRUTH OR DARE?:	who went through middle school and didn't?
FLASHED SOMEONE?:	check
MOONED SOMEONE?:	recently
BEEN IN A PHYSICAL FIGHT?:	no, I broke one up once
RODE IN A POLICE CAR?:	nope
BEEN ON A PLANE?:	yes
COME CLOSE TO DYING?:	I was almost struck by lightening once...no lie
SLEPT WITH YOUR BEST MATE'S SIGNIFICANT OTHER?	well...if by "slept" you mean actually sleep then yes, if by "slept" you mean had sex with.....NO....Who the hell does that?
BEEN IN A SAUNA?:	yes...mmmmm
...............WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT........................
ABORTION?:	I feel horribly for those who have to have one, but I feel that it's their choice
COUNTRY MUSIC?:	I'm a fan
CLASSICAL MUSIC?:	If it has cello I'll probably enjoy it
OLDIES?:	My love my life....always first thing on my dial
AEROPLANES?:	qua?
.........................WHAT IS................................................
YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM?:	I don't think I believe in luck
WORST SONG U EVER HEARD?:	there are a few.
YOUR BEDROOM LIKE?:	Been pink since I was six...SHOOT ME NOW
YOUR SECRET CRUSH?:	if it's secret why would I make it public?
YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS?:	My originality
.......................ARE YOU A...............................................
VEGETARIAN?:	kinda....I eat lamb and fish
GOOD STUDENT?:	I hope to be
GOOD AT SPORTS?:	I'm a good sport.....does that count?
GOOD ACTOR/ACTRESS?:	not if I have to act angry or sad
DEEPSLEEPER?:	I've slept maybe 3 nights through in my life. Seriously. (that's a no)
..............HAVE YOU EVER HAD....................................
BLOODY NOSE?:	we need an article for it to actually be a complete question...but yes
SOMEONE BESIDES YOUR FAMILY SAY THEY LOVE YOU?:	yes
SOMEONE PUNCH YOU?:	yeah...mostly my guy friends...do I have a sign on my back that says punch me?
.....................DO YOU.....................................................
LIKE PICNICS?:	Adore them....bring chevre
ENJOY SHOPPING?:	VOMIT. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
GO TO A HANSON CONCERT IF YOU HAD A FREE TICKET?:	cha
GET ANYTHING PIERCED?:	you mean have? Yes....my ears
IF YOU WERE STUCK ON AN ISLAND, WHICH PERSON WOULD YOU WANT WITH YOU? :	hopefully one with a plane
YOUR HOUSE WAS ON FIRE,WHAT 2 THINGS WOULD U COLLECT? :	my brother and something else.....
IF SOMEONE OFFERED YOU A SMALL PART IN A MOVIE WOULD YOU ACCEPT IT?:	....I'm assuming it's pg13....so sure. Why not?
WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?:	Frosting Bitch, puta, Hilla, Hill (only julia and a couple others can call me that) Hill Hill (for Matt)
TIME FINISHED:	11:21...I talked to people inbetween
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

1 comment | post a comment

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Date:	2006-07-19 19:05
Subject:
Security:	Public

suck. So after working my 4 days of hell (going to Park bench from 7 to 4:15, then going to The Shop from 6 to 1 or 2 and then going over to house sit and waking up early to feed animals and water *f-ing plants) I got sick. I knew it was going to happen, but I also knew that I could push myself through it until I had some time off *which would be today* WRONG...at least on the 2nd part. I came home sunday at 5 and colapsed on my bed with a fever of about 102....I woke up to nausea and the inability to swallow.....strep right? Went to the doctor...got drugs....asked about mono just in case...because the strep test actually came back negative...but I couldn't be tested because I hadn't had symptoms for more than five days later.....Missed work yesterday....felt kinda better....not really...Today I didn't have work....feeling kinda better...but I'm really in-tune with my body (probably cause I've broken it so much) and I know that it's not just strep. I'm conviced I either have MONO FUCKING SHIT or a bladder infection...the latter is less of a possiblitiy, but it's my speciality....I've been stumping doctors with them since I was 6....1 each year. I'm totally a machiene...of death. So yeah. Mad at the world right now. Crabby. Sicky...miss my friends from school...Miss my friends from here....lots too, because were I not dead I could actually see them before they start leaving IN LESS THAN A WEEK! Grr. That's all. I'm going to go try to sell a freezer now. My brotehr is gone (COMING HOME SOON YAY....but wait...i'm dead...so that sucks...because he'll be h ere but I don't want to get him sick so BOO). I need to be able to work tomorrow we'll see if I'm feeling any better...and then my schedule starts again. I think I quit life.

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Date:	2006-07-12 22:14
Subject:	FUN TIMES FOR EVERYONE!!
Security:	Public

K. This is shameless promotion so I won't be offended if you don't want to read the rest of this. BUT...

Thursday Night at The Shop on S. Perry is the beginning of the Perry Summer Street Fair...and also the kick off off The Shop !!!!FREE!!!!! outdoor movies. Starting thursday, friday, saturday...and every saturday after that....The Shop has live music oustide and a movie on our outdoor movie screen (aka the big white wall next to it). Music starts at 7, movie starts at dark(ish).

For our grand opening we have two bands. HARRY AND THE POTTERS!!!! and........DRACO AND THE MALFOYS!!!!!!

Our movie: take a wild guess....HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERROR'S STONE!


HOORAY. I LOVE MY JOB. Seriously. Come visit. Bring a lawn chair or two and enjoy the outside and a fun neighborhood event! I'll be pulling coffee. It's amazing. I've gone to these showing for the past three years. They're great. I'll keep everyone updated on the movies and bands that are upcoming...i think it would be silly to post them all at once. So yeah. If you'd like to check it out yourself visit www.theshop.bz . everything will be there. K. Hope to see you!

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Date:	2006-05-24 00:06
Subject:	wtf college
Security:	Public
Mood:	Baffled

So many things. WTF. What did I do yesterday? Went to school, went to sushi with my friends......sat at sushi for 3 hours....made a list of Caswell mosts and bests ect...made friends at sushi. Designated Drove drunken friends to a party....picked the up at 2:30...and hung out with them until 3:30 in the a.m.
Today I went to the longest class ever, joined a sexual wellness advocacy team, went to a programme. Then I ended things with a boy who I was vaguely dating.....who then denied we were even dating....who then changed his mind and said he was heartbroken. After that I spent over two hours making a detailed playdough town with the same kids who I had been DDing the previous night. What goes?

1 comment | post a comment

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Date:	2006-05-21 20:15
Subject:	Best day ever?
Security:	Public
Mood:	you would be too...so content
Music:	shuffle...sometimes shuffle just knows

Today should have sucked. I woke up and was convinced that it was going to. My roommate told me that she was going to rush and wouldn't be able to live with me next year. Which is fine with me, but I was pretty excited to live with her next year, and one of our potential roommates already dropped out of that....so I have no idea where I'm going to live next year. But...I spent probalby about four hours in a friend's room and we all just sat on beds and talked about life and firsts and told stories and just about things in general. It thundered a bit and we lit a candle and it was just a zen sort of afternoon.
Then. I went to get some food and was feeling pretty sick (chocolate milk doesn't help an upset tummy) and was kinda getting crabby, but as Erin and Kenny and I left the building we saw a window open on the second floor with a box of cheese-itz in it. And in a moment of simple collegiate boredom/genius Kenny and I hoisted Erin up on our shoulders and then pressed her up to the window and she knocked the cheese-itz out! It was our booty. And a couple stopped and the guy helped us and spotted Erin because she was freaking out....true, he did that because he thought she was locked out...but hey, it was pretty amazing.
Then we took our philfered-*I know I didn't spell that right* bounty into Pizzanos and ate them....when all of a sudden we looked outside and what had been a cloudy day had suddenly turned into a blustery crazy wind storm (gale/blizzard...we discussed the proper term for it). So within the next minute this is an approximation of our conversation. "WOW it's windy...lets go outside!" [five of us go outside].....three seconds later...."Holy crap it's POURING RAIN. MONSOON!!!Lets play frisbee!" [pick up the frisbee].....maybe .3 seconds later...."HEY IT"S HAIL".....directly after that sentence was said....."HOLY SHIT THE HAIL IS HUGE.....IT JUST BROKE MY GLASSES.....IT"S LEAVING WELTS....RUN FOR COVER....FUCK THE FRISBEE....OW"......there were piles of hail the size of a quarter everywhere. We were completely soaked so we figured we should play frisbee....that quickly led to throwing handfulls of huge hail pieces at eachother...which then led to making hail snow cones...(icky now that I think about it). But yeah. And now I've showered and I'm warm and listening to good music. Today was amazing. Sometimes life is so beautiful and simple that I just am in awe.

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Date:	2006-04-12 19:46
Subject:	!
Security:	Public
Mood:	sickish

Know what sucks? Mono. Mono sucks lots. Know what sucks too? Not knowing for sure if you have mono, but there being a strong chance that you do, and being treated as if you have the bubonic frickin plague. Mono sucks. Therefore Jason sucks. Therefore men suck. Therefore dating sucks. Therefore I return to the theme of one of my original college posts....I JUST WANT TO CUDDLE!!! Don't worry, I'm actually doing school, and we actually do fun things like smoke hookah, or play frisbee, or just watch movies as a dorm....but come on.....is it too much to ask for a cuddle partner with no other commitment other than the cuddle? Gr. In happier news I'm way so excited to see my fam over Easter!!! In other other news.....technology bites my ass. I dislike working on it, I dislike reading about it....boo....I dislike attempting to become "facile" at it and spending three and a half hours in the computer lab thinking I'm becoming compitent when really I'm just wasting time and doing stuff wrong for a project that is due in less than a week. YARGH. K. I want to leave this post on a happy note......so just in case anyone was wondering. I'm wearing a green and grey stripped shirt and a green and white polkadotted ribbon in my hair. Joy.

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